Well guys, here it is.
I’m going to be baptized tomorrow.
Honestly, I’m scared. And I don’t know how to feel. Happy? Sad? Should I just go ahead and break down right now?
I’ve been thinking about it and trying to work towards it for quite a long time. When Sarah got baptized a couple of years ago, it really hit me that, Whoah, we’re old enough to do that? It just made me realize that we’re all growing up, and we’ve got to figure out what we want to do with our lives. For baptism preparation my dad used to have people go through three lessons of the old correspondence course (he now apparently has them go through six lessons of the new correspondence course), so I did those, and also went through the baptism booklet a couple of times. Then I went through LCG’s Statement of Beliefs, and made sure I agreed with everything there. But I still wasn’t satisfied that I’d actually proven everything to myself, or could defend what I believe, without help, to someone who challenged me. So I set out on my own little quest of proof. I listed on a couple pages major doctrines and ideas of things I wanted to prove to myself, and then set about actively proving them. I’ve been doing that for a couple of months now, and I still haven’t gone completely through my list. I broke them down into various degrees of importance, and I’ve gone through but about two of the really really important, and the really important. I’m satisfied with that. I mean, I won’t stop working through it, because it’s important to prove all things, but I don’t see anything now that should stop me from being baptized.
I’ve been debating whether or not I should post my proof, because I wanted to get my dad to read it over first and make sure it was all right. Well, I think I’ll just go ahead and post it. But please, no one take it as official LCG doctrine 🙂 It’s also not completed yet, but I think that the idea is a good and important one, so maybe it’ll inspire some of you 🙂
But it still scares me. Do I really know what I’m doing? Is this the right thing to do? Of course it is. Am I ready? Well, if I’m not, what would make me more ready? I can’t think of anything. I think I’ve done all I can to prepare. I guess part of it is just not feeling worthy, or like you’ll ever quite be there. But I think that’s right. We’re not worthy. And on our own, we can do nothing.
I counselled with Mr. Weston in October, before Cindy Lou’s wedding. He said he only felt like we needed one more session. Time went by, but he never came back to Kingston. He wasn’t in Kingston at all between before the Feast and after I’d already left for December break. My dad has done all of his kids’ baptisms, so I knew it was really important to him that he do mine as well. To do that, it’d either have to be now, or May. So I wrote Mr. Weston and asked if we could possibly do the last counselling over the phone. That was fine with him, so we talked on Thursday night. It was kind of amusing to counsel ove the phone, but all I did was say, “Mm-hmm” like I would in person anyway, so it was fine 🙂 Mr. Weston has a reputation in Ontario for being tough when it comes to making sure that you’re ready for baptism, but he really didn’t seem too bad to me. Maybe I was just super-smart and knew all the answers 😉 Since my dad’s going to do the actual baptism, though, he had to make sure that I actually knew what I was talking about. Over dinner he gave me the overall super-fast counselling session, which…took me by surprise, really. He asked me several questions which were specific to the materials he has people work through, which, either I hadn’t done, or did a long time ago. It was…unnerving. Anyway, that’s through now, so it’s on to the real deal.
We’ve got two services tomorrow (Baltimore and Winchester), and following services in Winchester we’ll go back to the Dulaney’s house (the elder there) and do the baptism. Apparently they have some sort of big tub thing that should work. First Mrs. Dulaney was asking if I could fit in a regular tub, and wanted Mom to have me try it out here. Mom was like, “If you can fit in the tub, we can do it right here!” I told her that getting baptized in my own house would be anti-climactic, and I’d rather not 🙂 So the plan is to do it in Winchester tomorrow. I asked Sabrina and Ken if they wanted to come, but so far it doesn’t look like either is going to be able to make it. Any of you guys want to come? 🙂 I asked Charlie (who’s just returned from Puerto Rico), and he just laughed.
So, I’m going to go read the last half of the baptism booklet now. For the…fourth time? (It’s also time to remove my whitening strip :)) Everybody have a great Sabbath, and hey guys, this Sabbath Penman is 23 🙂