This might come across more critical than I intend, but only I mean to provoke thought and if possible, solutions.
I’ve been talking with church girls recently, and there seems to be a general consensus of concern among the church girl population regarding church boys. We want to marry church boys. If anyone, we’re going to marry church boys. But, it seems that among the boys there is a strong trend of not having their lives in order, such that we would be interested in marrying them. This manifests itself in not going to school, or going to school and not doing anything with their degree, or not developing some marketable skill such as a trade. Without a defined career path or goal, the boy is unattractive as potential marriage material, even if he has otherwise stellar traits. I think that most of the girls recognize and believe that the husband should be the head of the house, and if possible, the primary financial supporter of the family. Being able to lead the family in being goal-oriented and motivated also seems to go along with having a career and a life plan. Without these things…we’re concerned. We don’t want to marry someone whom we’ll have to nag all the time to go find a job.
On the flip side of the coin, a large number of girls in the church seem to have their act together. They’re going to school, finding internships, going to grad school, working in promising jobs. I don’t mean to sound holier-than-thou. But consider this: out of all the single young people in the church that I know (and by “single” I mean no ring on their finger :)) I know 8 girls who have pursued, are pursuing, or are planning to pursue graduate degrees. Of boys I know 3. A graduate degree is not the be-all, end-all of having a career and being able to support a family, and I don’t mean that everyone should get a graduate degree or that you’re nothing without one, but it is a good indicator that the guy has a plan for his life.
It just seems that we’re all getting to marriable age, and the girls seem to be pretty well prepared for it, but the boys don’t. If we all want to marry within the church, this is fairly incompatible. I wasn’t at the PA camping weekend last weekend, but I heard about it from some who were there. Apparently Mr. McNair made a statement along the lines of, “So, we keep having all these singles events. But nothing is happening. You’re all still single!” Correct me if I’m reading this all wrong. If I’m right, though – why is this? Is it just that boys mature more slowly than girls, and we’re just ahead of the game? Or do the boys not want to get married? Is there anything we can do about it? We’re not marriage-obsessed, but it is something we think about. We don’t want to end up old maids 🙂 If it comes down to it, I might just have to marry Sophia.