Infinite Blogging

Tales of love, fertility and nourishing food.

I’m pretty sure that’s the most contorted (and retarded) I’ve ever looked. September 19, 2007

Filed under: Life,Wedding — Annette @ 8:27 pm

So I ordered a long shapewear-type slip to go under my wedding dress to smooth out any lines or curves.  I measured my waist and found it to be 28″, so I ordered the 27/28″ size.

It arrived today.  Upon first inspection it looked a little small, but it is supposed to be stretchy, so I figured it would be fine.  Then I tried to put it on. 

I can’t even describe the contorted positions I got into trying to get that thing on.  It was ridiculous.  First I tried over my shoulders, and that didn’t really work, so I tried over the hips.  That was even worse.  Okay, try head first.  No luck.  Try two arms at a time.  No.  Eventually after about 10 minutes and attempts of steel determination, I got it over my shoulders with the head-and-one-arm trick, but by the time it was on my body my shoulders were bright red.

I kept it on for about 45 minutes while I talked to my mom and tried to figure out what we were going to do about it, since it obviously was not the right size.  Towards the end of our conversation I started to feel hot and lightheaded.

Getting it off was another chore, and again my shoulders are feeling raw.  So I measured it with a measuring tape, and this supposed 27/28″ slip is TWENTY-THREE INCHES across!  23!!  That’s a full FIVE inches smaller than it’s labelled to be!  What in the world!  Yes, it’s supposed to stretch, but it’s not supposed to crush your ribs!  Aggghhh.

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4 Responses to “I’m pretty sure that’s the most contorted (and retarded) I’ve ever looked.”

  1. Kerr Says:

    Yes it is.

  2. Ducky Says:

    Haha! You know, most women would kill to be able to get into a 23″ contraption like that. Even if it meant bloody shoulders 🙂

  3. Desiree Says:

    Where did you buy it from? Maybe they were measuring 28″ when stretched?

  4. Infinity Says:

    It was from a website called Sense Lingerie. I wrote them, and they said that of course it’s not 28″, it’s a control slip. Yes, well, that’s nice and all, but it would be helpful if the 28″ person could actually get into the garment.


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